Friday, October 8, 2010

Spiritual Longing

So here I go again,...

I have not been winning the internet popularity contest lately, yet, last time I wrote I did get some encouraging feedback from a few people and so I know this is appreciated by someone.

I was walking home tonight, on this crisp, cool, fall night, and the sky was clear and the stars were shining so brightly. It only takes a moment of looking up at the sky to give me so renewed perspective. Just like the stars, the sun and the moon, there are some things that are constant, that have been and will be long after I am gone, and I pray to the One Who Created all of it by the power of His Word. 

As I look for guidance and health, my senses are constantly bombarded with the voices and opinions of mankind. Everyone seems to have an opinion, a standard, a doctrine, even an agenda or argument or paltform. And no matter how badly I want freedom, they want to enclose me in the issues they find so important. In my naivety, there have been times where I was blissfully ignorant of many people's insatiable desire to dominate me, even in my thinking. But my eyes are opened wide, and I see more and more,that I must be free. And of course, how can I be truly free, not only of physical oppression, or from intellectual bullying, PC censorship, and thought manipulation, but also free from my own proclivities towards pettiness, self-delusion, and self-importance. But how is it possible? Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. I am tired of all of the opinions, even my own. I am so weary of it all, and I long for a cleansing light, an eternal truth, an unwavering goodness, a true hero, a Final Authority, a Worthy Leader. When examining all of my desires to worship, adore, admire, look up to, sacrifice for, love...I realize, no one is worthy to receive that much trust and devotion, no one could ever but let me down! BUT there is One who is Worthy! He deserves everything I could ever hope to give times infinity. It would be hard to give all I had to an undeserving figure, but Jesus Christ is someone that I am not ashamed to adore, to admire, to worship and to love. And His truth; He is truth, is clear, and real and consistant, and all I need to do is be still and listen for His voice. I know His voice. I have His Spirit, the Spirit of Christ, living within me, and so-I am led in all truth. I recognize what is false and what is real. I just need to have the courage to acknowledge His voice only. This will put me in opposition to both the secular organized world AND organized religion in so many ways. 

So many people look to the conduct of the religious to decide the validity of God. But I myself even, am so pleased and thankful that God is not like me. I do not worship Christians, I worship Christ. Here and there, every so often, I have known Christians who really are good reflections of Christ, and that is great, but so many of us are just not that good of an example. I can't lie. I won't lie. I am NOT a good example of Christ. I WANT to be, and perhaps I will grow to that place, but right now, I am simply someone who admires Him and seeks Him and listens for His voice, I have not yet been coformed to his image, but I know the work has at least begun in me. And I have already been down the paths of religiosity and Churchianity. I do not put any hope in pious platitudes, I am just looking to God and the Bible for help and for perspective. And Oh, how I long to be free from the bigotry and prejudices and intellectual suicide of postmodern culture! God, help me! LORD, deliver me from all the voices and manipulations and messages that poison the mind of the modern man. Give me YOUR WISDOM from above! Take away the smoke and mirrors and tricks that have led us into this mess and lead me in the old paths, show me great and marvellous things that I know not! Amen.  

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