I usually get freaked out on my birthday, I like to spend some time reflecting and I also feel too old. But I'm not gonna freak out this year- I am just going to see this as a chance to examine myself, learn and move forward.
So here are my thoughts, some of them...
I have had many times where I have felt that I was doing well, and I have had many times where I have felt like a failure. I have fallen, and I have gotten back up. Some people see me as a success, some as a failure, some as a leader, some as a hypocrite. But considering I am often like a roller-coaster, I cannot be what anyone projects upon me. I am not stable enough to be just what they want me to be, life isnt that static I dont think,
But, no matter if I am standing tall or fallen down, my "Position" is exactly the same. Whether I am singing in Church, or sinning at work....being wise or being foolish, Nothing can take away from the fact that I am a Child of God. I am just as much of a child of God when I sin as when I do right, even though I am sometimes a child who is bringing shame.
But Paul explained that God's strength is made perfect in weakness. For some, this statement could be difficult to understand. But what I need to be, is "Broken" There is no such thing as a giant of the faith, of a good Christian or a bad Christian, there is only those that acknowledge their brokeness, and let God pick up that broken body and use it for something by His power.
I, in the last 27 years, have fallen and fallen and fallen, and risen and risen and risen, lol My 'flesh' is broken. I am broken. God is not.
You may think highly of me, some of you do, you may not think much of me, some of you don't. But I'm a Broken Vessel, made whole, not to be appreciated and praised as the most beautiful cup you ever seen, but to hold a cold drink of water. Does that make sense to you? WHo knows....but that's where I am in this 27th year. It is what it is as they say and I thank God.