The last couple of weeks I have been so distracted. Many temptations and attacks from Satan have come my way. As they do to us all. Plus I started a better job so I'm working hard.
In the midst of all of my sins, downfalls, distractions, anger, confusion, situations, etc- every once in a while, I get a little reminder that God is still with me, He is faithful, He is constant, and He loves me. And I sit back and just meditate on the fact that He is FOR me. It gives me courage. People may be against me. They may TRY to condemn me, look down on me, put me down, but ya know what? God is not doing that. It is easy to find myself confused into thinking the voices of the world and the flesh and the Devil is speaking for God, but guess what-it's Not. God does not condemn me and He isn't looking ot put me down He is looking to heal me and raise me up by His side. And the paradox is awesome! When I fall down before Him, He lifts me up. Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He shall lift you up! I can be at His side by His power and in His grace, not in my own merits. I can enter th Holy of Holies with the blood of Christ. God, help me to remember this. Give me courage when I am in the lions den, let me remember Your power and Your angel and Your protection.
Men like Daniel, and Joseph-they lived among the enemy, they lived in bondage, yet they were fearless, they prayed, they worshipped, they held into their faith and had integrity. Daniel and Joseph are my heroes!
Many times, I sit back, and say "I can't do this anymore." Many times I feel sad, and broken, dejected and weak. I know these seasons must come. But more and more, I've been allowing myself to atleast consider the possibility that I CAN br strong and I can be vcitorious. How many times did God tell Joshua be strong and of a good courage?
Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might.
I am in His hands. and just like my brother was hit by a huge truck and somehow God made sure that He was safe, as these huge obstacles come flying at me, I know I am in His hands. And that's a good place to be. I am not sinless. I don't always do the right thing. I'm not always above reproach, but I'm living by grace. I'm in His hand. he has got me. He is for me. He has taken me through a lot already. Should I stop trusting Him now?
It can be so hard, but I thank God for good examples like David, Daniel, Joseph, and Job. They stayed faithful. they kept on believing and trusting and turning to God for grace. God is good. He is trustworthy. He is the lover of our souls.
I truly, truly wish that I could share with everyone what I am experiencing. I know osme understand and some do not. I was always led to believe that in order to achieve humility, I had to think of myself as filthy, and unworthy etc. and it's so funny, because in a way it is true-before God saved me, I was so hopeless, I was so destroyed, I was a broken vessel, unable to be used. But now. What am I to God? It is hard to believe sometimes, but I am a reward to Him, a prize, I am desired by Him. He WANTS to spend time with me. He WANTS to heal me. He WANTS to bless me. He gave everything to make me His. he loves me more than anyone on earth loves me, and hey, there are some people on this earth who love me quite a bit, and God lvoes me even more! That' amazing right there. I mean to think that God loves Sarah even more than I do, well, that's pretty awesome, He must love her so much!
Often, the little religious person inside of me starts yelling NO NO NO NO NO Micah, you slefish lil self-centered wicked person, it isn't about you buddy, it's about God so stop with this narcisism and self love. this is so sacriligious. LOL so then I have to actually go to the Scriptures, and look up the words love and grace, and read the verses and take them at face value ad believe what they say, and before you know it, there I am again :) basking in the love of God. He DOES love us. He is passionate about us. he does want to heal us and make us joyful. And everything that cries out in some kind of misguided false piety and says were making it about us-is a lie.
Who is worthy to be worshipped, me or God? God is! Who is trustworthy? He is. Who is Holy and Just and wondrous and Exalted? JEHOVAH is! And I will worship HIM, not myself :) But the fact is, I am a treasured creation of this mighty, Holy LORD! And so I can rejoice in who I am BECAUSE of Him. Ultimately, even taking care of myself, is really just honoring Him. My body is the Temple of the Holy Ghost! If i take care of it, who am I honoring, me or Christ?