God loves me so much! lol And He loves you too, dear reader :)
How do I put this? I can be a REAL mess! Seriously, if any of you have seen me at my worst, and some of you have-it isn't pretty! I don't always have a good attitude. I'm NOT the best example. Heck, someone called me one of their 'spiritual mentors,' today-And I won't lie to you, it made me feel so.....I don't know what the word is, humble,......ashamed? Unworthy? I don't know. Even though I LOVE to share my thoughts, even though I am a Sunday School teacher....I often have nagging thoughts that say, Micah, if you're leading people, face it-they deserve better! :( that makes me sad, and in a sense, it's probably true. I mean there are and have been Christian leaders with much more wisdom, character and consistant attitudes than me. But I have to say this, in my defense, sort of....lol
I think God can use me in all of my imperfections and emotional roller-coasters to teach other people around me and to share with them the fact that you do not have to be super-Christian to experience the wonders of God's love! DOn't get this wrong. I honestly believe in my heart that God wants to bring me to new heights of spiritual maturity. I have a strong desire to be more level-headed, and more 'spiritual.' But I also know that God has a perfect plan and He knows I am going to fall before I do-nothing takes Jesus by surprise, and yet here I am. You know why? God's strength is made perfect in weakness. He is going to use my flaws, my vulnerabilities, my bad experiences, my sorrows, bad memories, hurts and pains,...He is going to use all of them for good, He is going to redeem them. Check out ROmans 8:28 people! Do we believe it?
I have known some sorrow in my life. I have some big broken pieces in my heart. But I'm still here. Having a broken heart is not necessarily a bad thing! I'm not saying it feels good. It hurts, But that doesn't make it bad. If you're convinced it is all bad, u may let it harm you but if you accept it, your broken-ness can make you whole! Isn't that such a paradox? But it's true. I can't feel and understand God's soothing, healing, comforting power like I do if I am not broken first. In my brokenness, God expresses and shows His love in new ways. I get closer to Him and I have more compassion and love for others.
Some of my friends are going through such low valleys tonight. One good friend is dealing with the passing of her own mother. The heartbreak is just more than one can imagine. I have not been down the road she is on and all I can do is pray and trust God to take care of her.
I think more and more of Christ. NO one human being can understand ALL that your sorrow intails. Except Jesus. He understands. He is touched with the feeling of our infirmities. He knows exactly what were going through, He has been through it all and more.
Was it BAD for Jesus to endure such loss on the cross? No, it was a great good that He did.
Was it BAD for Jesus to sweat drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane while He prayed to the Father?
Was it bad for Him to greet Judas, the man who was betraying Him?
Was it wrong for Him to say Father, forgive them for they know not what they do...? No, it was all good. NOT easy, but good.
And three days later when He rose in joy and victory, was He sorry? No. He was glad at the joy that was set before Him! Jesus would never regret the awesome choice that He made.
We often also face our own type of Gethsemane. Another question; was Jesus sinning when He cried My God My God why hast Thou forsaken me? Get this, a lot of people who have a rigid sense of what spirituality is, would probably be the first ones to say, now Jesus, don't be upset. Everything is going to be fine in 3 days, no need to be sad...... You see, Jesus gives us our example for EVERYTHING for our lives. He shows us how to treat others, how to fight the Devil, how to work, He lived the perfect life---and He shows us how to suffer too. It is NOT a sin to be upset. It is not a sin to cry. It is not a sin to be sad. You are not disqualified from the ministry because you have sorrow. Jesus had sorrow.
Jesus also had joy. It says because of the joy that was set before Him He despised the shame and endured the cross, in other words compared to the joy of our salvation the shame meant little to Him.
Do you feel like you are a trainwreck? Do you feel like you have baggage that needs to be dealt with? Do you feel your emotions are erratic? Do you feel like you need to get it together, or you're a bad example....etc? Guess what? God still loves you and He wants to use you. He can use a broken person. He breaks a pot and makes it new. He is the Potter. He even says He has respect for a broken heart and a conrite spirit. You may feel that you have nothing to offer in your brokenness, when in fact-you are at a great spot for God to o something amazing! God takes broken lives, broken hearts and broken situations----and uses them to make miracles!
SO many people are LOOKING so hard for the perfect family, the perfect Church, the perfect job, the perfect life, the perfect Pastor, the perfect youth group, the perfect Bible study so that they can finally do something for God----but ALL you need is a perfect Saviour and He will do it all. Lift up your situation to Him and watch Him work. Stop waiting for everything to be just so-thinking that then God will be able to work, stop having the ideal situation in your thinking......was it ideal for Saul to want to kill the new King God anointed? Was it ideal for Jacob's sons to sell their brother into slavery? Was it ideal for Sarah to have Isaac in her 90's? Was it ideal for Moses to be born in the middle of a massacre? Was it ideal for the Messiah to be born with a bunch of barn animals? God doesn't work with the ideal-He works with human beings like me and you in REAL life. He loves you.